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Hello, it’s Mary Schiller of maryschiller.com. I want to welcome you back to another lesson in Unleash Your Courage.
In the first two lessons, we talked about the fact that we are born with courage — more than we could ever even need. That there is no one on this earth who is more or less courageous then you are. We also talked about the fact that if things look scary to us, what it means is we’re listening to some scary thinking: nothing more, nothing less. It doesn’t have to do with how much courage we have; it simply means that for those few moments while those thoughts are in your head, we’re listening to them. We have the option to … we can simply let them do their thing — create some anxiety or whatever it is — and let them kind of pass on by. And we’re free to do whatever it is that we like.
So what about that? How does this actually play out in everyday life?
Now that we know that courage is something that we don’t have to work on or conjure up, it is not something we have to go get more of somehow — it doesn’t come through taking certain action steps — that it’s innate, it’s waiting for us like a freshwater spring, how do we actually use this to make change in our lives?
Well, the best news is, it makes it all much simpler and much easier, and here’s how.
A lot of us spend an inordinate amount of time up in our heads. We’re often grappling with our fears. We’re grappling with What if this, what if that, Oh, no, I can’t because … We spent a lot of time focused in that area. Now a lot of the people in the self-help world — probably most of them –are giving information that is actually not helpful, and here’s why. Most of them are saying that in order to make change in our lives or to be braver, take more risks, we have to change our mindset. We have to try to do something with our thinking. And I’m telling you, just the opposite is true.
That the less we pay attention to our thinking, the easier it is to do the things we want to do. The easier it is to feel our natural courage and to go forth with fearlessness.
If we spend time more time in our heads trying to grapple with thinking, that is basically like trying to change water that hs already come downstream. There is nothing you can do about that. It’s already downstream. And trying to change the thinking is like … the horse is already out of the barn, folks. Nothing you can do about it, so give up on the idea.
Give up on the idea that you can change your mindset. Give up on the idea that you need to do anything about how you think, because you don’t. The only thing that you really need to be aware of is that your thinking is transient. It changes all the time. As it changes, certain emotions get stirred up in you, and there is nothing wrong with that. It’s all perfectly normal. All those ups and downs of your feelings have no effect whatsoever on how much courage you have, how much confidence you have. It’s kinda like the waves on the ocean. It doesn’t really affect what’s going on underneath. It simply creates an experience along the top. In other words, you can have all kinds of fearful thinking going on, but that doesn’t mean that anything has happened to your courage or your confidence or your bravery or your fearlessness. It’s all still there. It’s just that you’re a little distracted by some fearful thinking.
We have this tendency to believe that fear is telling us something important, but like any other feeling, it’s only telling us that in that moment we’re listening to some fearful thinking. That’s it. It’s not telling us that we shouldn’t pick up the phone to call someone about that job or we shouldn’t step on that stage to give our presentation or we shouldn’t do a Facebook Live or whatever it is that we’re feeling like we need to conjure up courage to do. We already have all of that courage available to us all the time.
Nothing gives us any more of it. Nothing takes any of it away. It is always present, always present for us.
So what I would love for you to do now, now that you kind of gotten a picture of what’s really going on, I’d love for you to actually do something that you feel you have needed courage to do — knowing what you know now: knowing that courage is innate, that you have all of it you could ever need. You don’t need to spend any time worrying about it, trying to make yourself feel more confident, more brave, more fearless. That if you have fears, you don’t have to try to do anything about them. You don’t have to try to change them. You don’t have to try to change your mindset to be more positive. You can stop all of it.
Take that in: there is nothing you need to do with any thought or feeling that you have. Nothing. All those thoughts/feelings — they are kind of two sides the same coin — they are giving you this experience of being human, and all the ups and downs that we have, but that doesn’t change who you actually are. And who you actually are is a creative, courageous, confident, fearless being who — with inspiration at your side — can do anything.
So what do you want to do? What do you want to do? If you could do anything, what would it be? Allow yourself some time and space to freely explore what you really want to be doing in life, knowing that whatever courage it requires is already within you. What do you really want to do?
Thank you so much for being part of Unleash Your Courage. I’d love to hear from you. Email me anytime at firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll respond personally. Thanks so much, and I’ll talk to you again soon.
Copyright 2017 Mary Schiller. All rights reserved.