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Hello, this is Mary Schiller, of maryschiller.com, here to help you Unleash Your Courage.
This is lesson 2 in our class, and in lesson 1, I gave you what I called the “Big Kahuna” message, which is that courage is innate — that courage is something you are born with, that you have all the courage, all the confidence, all the bravery you will ever, ever need or want. That no one on this planet has more or less courage than you or anyone else. It’s almost like we are taking a bath in courage. We’re all in this courage bath, and we all can tap into it, and draw from it, at any time we want to.
I also was bringing home the point — and that’s what I’ll talk more about in this lesson — that courage is not isolated. So it’s not like we have courage in some areas but not in other areas. We have courage across the board. That means that anything that you want to do but you been afraid to do because you been fearful, or you haven’t felt the confidence or courage you feel you need, you can actually do. It’s totally within your grasp.
So let me give you an example of something. My daughter is afraid of flying. OK, lots of people have a fear of flying, so she has asked me, “You know, Mom, do you have thoughts about, you know, that something’s happening to the pilot or something’s going wrong with the engine and the plane crashing?” All that stuff is … that seems like normal thinking to me. I realize, you know, I actually do have thoughts like that sometimes, but I don’t really pay attention to them. They’re just in the background, and they’re not really having any effect on whether I get onto a plane or not. I started to realize that it’s not so much that I don’t have a fear of flying; it’s that I don’t really listen to the fearful thinking that I might have about it.
Because here’s the thing: we’re never actually afraid of anything. We’re not afraid of flying. We don’t need more courage to get on stage and do public speaking. We don’t need more self-confidence to do whatever it is that we want to do — because the thing itself doesn’t exist except in our thoughts.
So for instance, my daughter isn’t afraid of getting on an airplane. She is afraid when she listens to the fearful thinking she has about flying.
Do you see the difference?
So let’s say someone has a fear of stepping onto a stage. The stage itself isn’t transmitting fear into them. The audience isn’t transmitting fear into them. They are simply listening to fearful thinking that says stepping on this stage is scary. So nothing kinda “out there” is actually the cause of fear. And that means that we don’t have to deal with any of that kind of thinking. All we have to really “do” is realize that whatever we feel we need — in order to do the thing that seems scary to us — we already have. We already have courage. We already have confidence.
If we have a rush of anxiety or anxious feelings or whatever it is, we need to simply see that that it’s thinking. It’s simply that: it’s thinking that we have, that’s going through our minds.
And luckily for us, our thoughts are designed to change on their own. And when we know that fear and all that kind of stuff is coming from momentary, transient thinking, we can just wait it out. We can have that uncomfortable feeling and just wait it out. It’s not doing anything to us to hurt us. And once that kind of fearful thinking passes through, or once we see, for example, “That’s typical. I often feel that way before I step on stage or get on a plane or before I make a phone call” or whatever it is, our natural courage is right there. It’s right there and waiting for us.
It’s almost like if we’re thirsty and we’re sitting in the middle of a beautiful area that’s filled with clear-water lakes, and were saying, “I’m so thirsty! If only there was some water nearby.” Well, this is the same thing. The courage we need is just like that fresh water. It’s there all the time, anytime we need it — as soon as we wake up and go, “Oh, yeah, here it is! I don’t need to listen to that fearful thinking.”
The last thing I want you to do is to try to confront any sort of fear you have. That is completely counterproductive, completely counterproductive, because all it does is sort of lock you into thinking that isn’t real.
What’s much simpler and much more effective is simply recognizing that any time you feel like you’ve got to conjure up courage or deal with fears or anything like that, you can kind of set all that to the side, feel whatever feeling you’ve got going on (since it’s coming from your thinking), and as soon as it kind of rolls on through, you will feel a natural wellspring of confidence rise up to the surface.
Before I close out this lesson, I want to ask you something. Can you think of a time when you did something that initially looked scary to you but you went ahead and did it anyway? Why do you think you were able to do that? Because nothing about the thing itself changed. What actually changed was your thinking. Either you consciously decided you weren’t going to listen to fearful thinking or the fearful thinking just passed on its own, and your natural confidence and courage and bravery showed itself and you did the thing. But I’d like you to think of at least 3 examples of that, and write them down. And we’ll talk about that some more in the next lesson. I’ll see you then. Thanks for watching.
Copyright 2017 Mary Schiller. All rights reserved.